Sender Moshe / Sender Matson

Here's the speech Jacob gave at Sender's bris...

Sender Moshe

We chose the name Sender for our newborn son as a celebration of the life of Darci's beloved Aunt Sandy, Sandra Rose Sharrin. All of us who were close to Aunt Sandy—whether in her biological family or just because she adopted us into her orbit—were devastated by her passing in January, but as she would have preferred, we'll focus on her life today. As she told me a few months ago, it was good and full life with no regrets.

Aunt Sandy was a tough, no-nonsense woman with a strong sense of humor and a powerful devotion to family. She taught high-school gym in the New York City schools, ran a small business selling arts and crafts supplies, raised four children, and drove herself to Atlantic City well into her eighties—each an achievement in itself, but when you put them together, quite a remarkable woman. She made everyone who spent time with her feel special, no doubt channeling her own mother, who as Darci says would pull each of her grandchildren aside and whisper, “Don't tell anyone, but you're my favorite.” She knew all the family lore and could tell amazing stories. In many ways, she was a crucial link the chain of tradition, holding her family together. She gave great advice, straight and to the point. For example, when Darci told Sandy that we were thinking about whether or not to have a third kid, Sandy said, “Listen, family is the most important thing. More kids means more joy. So what's the question?” Needless to say, we listened. We wish for Sender to follow in his great-aunt Sandy's footsteps, always ready to lend an ear, to lighten a mood, to preserve a tradition, to bring people together.

It's particularly appropriate to remember Aunt Sandy as Pesach is about to start, since every year, she would gather her family and friends around a long table at her house in Brooklyn for the seder—you could count on it, the same loving traditions year after year—Dr. Brown's sodas on the sideboard, Barton's chocolates on the coffee table, a crowd in the kitchen, an argument about who should lead and whether everyone else was paying enough attention, an enormous amount of delicious food—so enormous, in fact, that no one was ever QUITE ready to go back to the haggadah afterward—and a real sense of family and continuity. Unfortunately, for obvious reasons, we're not able to be there this year as her children make another seder in their mother's home, but we'll be there in spirit and be thinking of you all.

Sender's Hebrew middle name, Moshe, is also inspired by the Passover season we're now entering. Of course, naming a child after Moses leaves big shoes to fill, but after all, shouldn't parents set high goals for their children? We hope for Sender, like Moses, to be a leader, but not to lead out of hope for glory or praise, but rather out of a strong moral compass, a desire to end injustice and promote freedom. His English middle name, Matson, is also my middle name and my mother's middle name. We chose it as a way to honor my mother's family, a tight-knit community in Little Rock, Arkansas who support one another when times are hard, and celebrate with one another always. We are particularly thinking of my grandmother, Marian Matson, who at 94 couldn't make the trip here today, but who got a chance to see Sender over FaceTime a few days ago, and pronounced him “just precious.” My grandmother, Bamom, like Aunt Sandy, is no-nonsense to the core—no fuss, no need to get carried away—but she has an open mind, an inquisitive spirit, and strong sense of right and wrong, all things we hope for Sender Matson as well.

If I could return to Aunt Sandy for a moment, one of the first ways she and I bonded was over our shared love of the Yiddish language. It was Sandy's mother tongue—she was a graduate of the Y. L. Peretz Folkshule. I know she appreciated the Yiddish names of our first two, Hersh and Alte, and I think she would have approved of Sender as well. In her honor, I'd like to close with a selection from a tkhine, a genre of prayers written in Yiddish by and for women. This one is a prayer for a newborn baby:

A Tekhine of Thanksgiving for the Birth of a Child

I come to thank you, dear God, and to praise you for all the lovingkindness that you have bestowed upon me to this day. And I also ask you not to cease performing your lovingkindness for me: May Sender Moshe, Sender Matson Lewis be a beautiful sapling in the Jewish vineyard, for the glory of Israel.  May he come into the world to help bring peace and justice. In his time may we merit a true redemption, amen.

, גיי איך  דיר, ליבער גאט דאנקען און לויבן פאר אלץ וואס . דו האסט מיט מיר ביז היינט געטאן חסד און איך בעט דיר דאס ווייטער : זאלסטו אויך דיין חסד ניט אפּ טאן פון מיר סענדר מושה זאל זיין א שיינע פלאנצונג אין . דעם יידישן וויינגארטן, לתפארת ישראל ער זאל קומען אויף דער וועלט . צוא ישועות ונחמות אויף כלל ישראל אין זיין צייט זאלן יידן . זוכה זיין א ווארע גאולה